The issue is a matter of justice that is rooted in the faithfulness we confess for one another. The Church identifies itself as a community. The question therefore needs to be asked whether the Church is really a community of faith if it fails to live out in its life together the justice it confesses
This is my story and I share it in the hope it will begin a discussion in the Church.
In 1985 I graducated from Christ-Seminary Seminex with an M.Div. Degree and prepared myself for Ordination as a pastor in the ELCA. At the time of my graducation I was a member of the Association of Evangelical Lutheran Churches, (ELCA). This becomes an important part of my story when its remembered the AELC had different requirements in place for people moving into the Church's Ordained Ministry. Whereas the ELCA requires that a person serve three years in a parish ministry before they are Called to a specialized ministry, no such requirement existed in the AELC. Therefore at the time of my graducation my certification Committee had certified me for Ordination into a specialized ministry.
When I graducated in 1985 I waited almost five years to receive a Call from the Church. In that period of time all the contacts between the Church and myselve were intiated from my end of the 'relationshp'. After waiting and never receiving any really encouragement or support from the Church I finally decided it was time to mover on with my life.
Because I believe the Spirit is active in this process I have been able to affirm that in the periiod 1985-90 when I was waiting for my Call the Church probably, made the right decision, although I do question that conclusion now. Before I had my second crainiotomy I definately wouldn't have been as good a pastor as I can be now. But the reason for that is another story and I'll save that for another time so I can at least get the bare outlines of this story down.
In June 2002 I met with Bishop Paul Swanson of the ELCA's Oregon Synod to talk with him and investigate the possibility of my re-entering the Churc's Call process. After I shared my story with him the bishop very understandable told me he wasn't able to give me a decsioin at that time. He would need to call the national Church and speak with someone in the Dividion for Ministry and try and figure out what kind of process there was for a person like me to follow. At the time of my meeting with the bishop I was very encouraged and felt he affirmed my Call and I had an advocate on my side who would be willing to work and help me through the hoops. I based this assumption on how the bishop told me that I had really live a, 'live of the Cross'. As a life long lutheran to have my bishop tell me that was very meaningful.
After talking with people in Chicago it was determined the best way to handle my case would be for me to meet with the Candidacy Committee. Therefore I went through the candidacy process from the very beginning agin meeting with the psychologists and Committee. When I met with the Committee they had two recommendations for me to complete. Because I had been out of the seminary for such a long period of time they wanted me to meet with a Theological Review Panel to determine if I should take any more theological courses to bring me up to par. They also wanted me to have a short six month internship. There decsion for such a short internship was based on my past experience and the fact I had remained connected with the Church working for Ecumenical Ministries of Oregon.
Therefore in June 2003, following the recommendations of the Candidacy Committee I flew down to the Pacific Lutheran Theological Seminary in Berkeley to meet with a Theological Review Panel made up of faculty members and a representative from the dhurchwide Division for Ministry. The Panel concluded there was no reason I should do any more class work. They did want me to do a year long residency experience. They wanted me to be in a parish as the pastoral leader with my supervising pastor nearby at another congregation. The Panel felt this was a resonable thing to ask and sent me back to the Oregon Synod leaving my placement and future in the hands of my bishop.
Bishop Swanson let it be known to be through his representatives and personally on several occasions that it was his goal to have everything in place so I would be able to be ready for Ordination in the fall of 2004. Infact he informed me he was looking to get me into my internship by the first parat of February.
When June 2004 rolled around and I was still waiting to hear something from the bishop's office at the recommendation of pastor Terry Moe of Redeemer Lutheran Church I made an appointment to meet with the bishop to pressent him a proposal. I was ready to propose to him that to get my internship going I was willing to stay working at my part-time job at the food program so my internship would be done without getting compensation for it. I just wanted to get it over with and on with my life. The bishop agreed with our proposal so in June of 2004 I began my three month internship.
In August as my internship was winding down I went in again to visit with the bishop to try and learn what progress he had made on fulfilling the next piece of his responsibililty to me. At the time he didn't have anything for me so I prepared myself to once again start waiting. In my own mind although I had hoped for things to move along rapidly I really didn't expect that to happen. I tthought I'd probably need to wait until October before I knew where I was going. And I certainly felt that by November if I hadn't already taken up my new position, (which I thought there was a reasonable chance I would have) I'd at least know where and when my residency would commence. We're now in November and I still am waiting to learn something from the bishop's office.
A bit over a week ago I mailed in a proposal to the bishop to get my residency underway and I'm still waiting to get a response from him. Also now that I know what happened to Kellie I'm going to be a lot more careful and critical in my talks with both the bishop and congregation.
It's become my opinion there is something very wrong with the way the Church has organized itself. It seems to do a very poor job of supporting and encouraging people discern their Calls. If a person falls outside the process somehow its very easy for them to get lost and be left alone. Something needs to change so the Church can do a better job of helping its members discern their Call.
My sense is that I'm not alone in my feelings and I'm interested in connecting with other people who have had similar experiences with the Church and are interested in helping create a spirit of change within the Church.